| HEY EVERYONE |
[29 Apr 2004|02:45am] |
HEY EVERYONE SHERBONAH IS REALLY GOING OUT THE EXIT ONLY DOOR AND SHE'S NEVER COMING BACK. YE' DIG?
No, but really I changed my name to sherilyn84 so you fools better add my new name to your buddylist or you'll get what's coming to you, especially you adam. yeah you better be scared.
BOO!!!
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| FAREWELL SUCKAS |
[24 Apr 2004|11:56pm] |
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GOODBYE LIVEJOURNAL. SHERBONAH IS LEAVING THE BUILDING AND SHE GOING OUT THE EXIT ONLY DOOR.
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| I'm the dumbest bitch in the world |
[17 Apr 2004|05:05pm] |
I'm a dumb bitch. I've got a lot to learn about life. I thought I knew, but what I knew ended up being jack shit. I thought I was one way, but turns out I wasn't. Fuck all your fear and insecurities. Don't push people away because you're afraid of getting hurt you little pussy freggin' coward. Let people make mistakes because nobody is perfect. As long as someone isn't physically harming you, you can probably manage to forgive them. Yes, I know there are a lot of reasons you probably shouldn't forgive someone. But I'm talking about the little shit that people think matter more than someone else's feelings. I'm talking about things that are minor when you compare it to a life-long friendship that should've been. Yeah you can't stay friends with everyone you meet. But don't keep them out of your life.
My day at work was okay. I always try not to let my personal life interfere. I feel numb today. But I know soon I will feel like crap all over again. If I wasn't feeling numb I wouldn't even have the power to leave my room, so numb is a good feeling right now. Something really really bad happened but I'm trying to not think about it too much, because if I do it will destroy me.
Leslie should be here soon. I need to be with someone. I can't be alone right now. One good thing that came from all this shit is that I won't ever drink again. Whether it was my fault or not. I should never drink again. What a horrible lesson I had to go through. Last night I felt like nothing. Hopefully I can just stay strong. It seems like my beliefs change every damn minute. Not sure if I believe in miracles anymore. Or if there is anything beautiful left in this world. Though the world is what we make of it. I'm going to be paying for the rest of my life from all the mistakes I've made.
I'M A FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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[13 Apr 2004|09:31pm] |
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I'm at the station right now. Leslie is behind me. She is sick. Awwww. Everyone feel bad for her. She looks like she's going to die. I just started "real work" at home depot today. It was okay. This summer is going to suck though, I can feel it. My boyfriend is going to New York tomorrow night. I'm gonna miss him. Not that I would see him anyways cuz we don't live close to each other. I got a really cool cd. I recommend it to everyone : kanye west, college dropout. It's the shiznit. Guess I gotta go now. Time to leave. BYE
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| FUCKING LITTLE BITCHES!!!! |
[29 Mar 2004|11:17pm] |
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WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!! last year a fucking bitch named, Amber Doughty, yelled out of a car "fuck her, i did" while i was walking down the street with pat and chad. just tonight a guy yelled the same damn thing on the rotary while i was taking a walk with my boyfriend chad.
what the hell is the matter with all of these fucking little immature pieces of shit?!!!! why don't you pussy ass bitches pull over some day and come see me face to face instead of in the protection of a car racin by? seriously though, i dare you to pull over someday!!!
i was having a nice time with my boyfriend that i've been dating for over a year. i barely get to see him and that shit had to happen tonight. makes me want to hate rednecks. cuz most of them have nothing better to do than drive the rotary all fucking night long and scream shit out to people. you don't know me! grow the hell up and find better shit to do with your life!
NOTE TO ADAM: adam i've been hearing that you've said that while we were dating i slept with everyone but you. if that is true you better cut the shit out too!
i FEEL like kicking the shit out of someone tonight!!!!!!!
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! GOD DAMMIT PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!
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[25 Mar 2004|01:16am] |
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things are getting worse. over the years i've gotten better. but it's downhill now. i tried lifting myself up. i've tried to see things in a positive light, but you can't hide under a mask forever. you can't always pretend to be bouncy and happy all of the time when inside you feel like nothing. this isn't a phase because everyday fucking day i feel it. i've felt this for over 6 years. it's effected all the relationships i've been in and it's almost ending the one i am in now. sorry to all the people i've let go. it makes it hard getting close to people. it fucking scares the crap out of me and slows me down in life. every fucking day i think about it. i never show it and now i'm sick of hiding it. i was real good at not showing it. i always try to forget by hanging out late at night but that doesn't do it, not anymore. i don't want to say all of this and have people think that i believe the world is a crappy place to live in. i'm saying this because it's better to not hide what you're feeling. i don't believe the world is a shit hole. but right now i feel that my world is. i feel like i'm dying.
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| turkeys are people too |
[19 Mar 2004|02:29am] |
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dammit dammit dammit. i've never wanted to party so hard in my life ever. i've never wanted to just frackin bust out and get wild this much ever in my life. i want to do something wild. every night i hang out with friends but i just want more more more. i want something more exciting to hit me. it's not like i don't have a good time with my friends. it's just that whenever we start to have fun everybody wants to go home and sleep. it could just be because i'm a damn night owl and i become alive at night and want to do everything. i've had a few exciting nights this week but i've been craving for something to always happen every night. i think i just need to move to a damn city and hit the dance clubs every night.
i wanna dance, i want something out of the ordinary to happen, i want someone to flirt with (isn't that horrible?) i miss flirting. it's so much fun and when someone flirts with you it makes you feel so damn good about yourself. i need to feel good cuz i feel like shit now. i miss chad so much. i miss him all the time. and even when i'm with him i get sad because i know he'll be gone soon. i've felt like this with him for over a year now. i've never been with him for more than 3 consecutive days. only once actually, i saw him for 3 days straight. i'd normally think what is even the point if i see my boyfriend just once a week and sometimes not even. but dammit he means so much to me. if we ever decided to take a break though i'd be too afraid that i'd lose him forever and it would kill me. deep down inside my not-so-secret-anymore secret is that i honestly think that he is the "one". even if i lost him to someone else that wouldn't change how i felt. i just want to get a place with him so badly so i can see him for MORE THAN THREE DAMN DAYS IN A ROW. i mean that right there i think is a reason to bitch. yeah it's bad when don't have a bf/ or g/f. but it also sucks to have one and rarely see them. to be so close to someone but never be able to see each other for more than 3 days EVER! i've only once seen him for 3 days in a row!!! AHHHHH i'm losing it. this is driving me nuts. i don't know what to do. i miss him. i feel like crying every day that i don't get to even talk to him on the phone. dammit dammit dammit.
AAAHHHHHHHH
S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S.
SOMEBODY GIVE ME ADVICE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
tell me what you think or say something to make me feel better please. i beg you!
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| Meso happy today |
[09 Mar 2004|05:37pm] |
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Stayed with Chad last night. We went to Barnes&Noble with his friend. Then watched School of Rock and it rocked! It was cute. I just got home because I had a long interview. I actually had an interview yesterday but the person that was supposed to interview me was busy, so I came in today and landed it. YaY for me. I'll pass the drug test so I have nothing to worry about. I hope I'll do good. This morning Chad actually filled out an application for a radio station and I hope he gets the job because it's closer to his house than every other job he has.
Right now I'm waiting because in a few I believe Leslie and Dave are supposed to stop by so we can stuff our faces, hang out, then Leslie and I can do our radio show. Yesterday I had a really good day hanging out with Chaddy and before that talking to Pat at the Breakwater. While I'm waiting I think I'm going to play a computer game because I haven't played one in awhile and why the freg not?
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[29 Feb 2004|04:11am] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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LOVE is real
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[27 Feb 2004|06:03pm] |
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 excited |
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Last night was fun. Saw a bunch of people that I haven't seen in a long time. Then we were all going to go to dennys but alex's car died. Then I ended up sleeping at Alex's house. Tonight I have class from 7-9:30ish. I'm just waiting til then. Right now Leslie is sleeping upstairs in my room like a little bitch before we have to go to class. I just got done watching dem aliens on the history channel. I've actually seen a UFO before. Yeah it was weird. Oh YEAAAAAHHHHHH!! I just got some of my tax return!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOHOOOOO!!!
Oh man, I feel like having some fun. Ahuuh.
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[23 Feb 2004|07:28pm] |
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Kris you can't get angry at someone for not being in love with you. You should just be happy that she loves you. It's hard to find someone that you can really fall in love with. You can be perfect for each other but at the same time not be meant for each other. Also, sometimes people get confused about love because they just love the idea of being in love. God works in mysterious ways. Maybe if you just stopped getting so pissed off at everyone and everything you'd see that in the end it always works out.
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| ******* Tomorrow is Pat's Birthday ****************** |
[21 Feb 2004|04:19pm] |
**********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
TOMORROW IS PATRICK DRUEKE's BIRTHDAY
**********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
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[18 Feb 2004|02:08am] |
Dear Online Journal,
It has been five minutes since I have gone to find Mike's whiskey. It was a cold and lonely search, but to no avail. All I found was half a jar of coffee brandy stashed in Mike's underwear drawer and a used condom from Lacey's doghouse. The kids are determined to go to the pool again. Not this time. And the drinking begins...Mmm coffee brandy: this stuff harbor hogs are made off. One more sip of Ass-in-a-glass and I may just have to call Leslie for bootie call.
Sincerely,
Sherilyn
P.S. Mike and his bitches are driving me crazy. Those fellas don't know how to keep it down. (bite the pillow)
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[18 Feb 2004|02:04am] |
Dear Online Journal,
It's been two minutes since my last confession. My best friend is being stolen away from me by a skinny camaro driving kilt wearer from the marines. it's been two months since i've been off the sauce. but these recent events have been driving me to drink again. i fear that soon i will wake up in a ditch somewhere exhausted....from playing Dance Dance Revolution...without my best friend. I just dropped the kids off at the pool. It'll be a lonely night tonight at Dennys. I've gotten used to being bloaked on. I have to find out where mike keeps the whiskey. Be back in five.
Sincerely,
Sherilyn
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| sleep over party yay |
[18 Feb 2004|01:57am] |
POST LESLIE, DAMN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
chad came over last night. he's so sweeet!!! i love him. now he's gone. alex is back. that's pretty cool. i haven't really seen him all that much because pat has been hogging him. what a meany. hopefully we'll be able to have a party for him. it's really cool having him home. what else is new????
absolutely shit bitch
leslie your man is like talking to me and all i hear is blah blah blah and i just nod.
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| Happy Valentine's Day to me |
[14 Feb 2004|10:50pm] |
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Well today I worked, which doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun but it was a good thing. I don't have any money so I needed it. Tomorrow I work too. I didn't get to see Chad today. I even decided to stay home after Leslie invited me to come hang out, but I told her no, that I was waiting for Chad to call. When Chad did call he said that he'd call me back at 12:00 or 1:00 because he was going to be out. So now I'm stuck here alone.
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[14 Feb 2004|08:43pm] |
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mood |
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A Wish
I lie on the ground,
and stare into space,
the stars start to move,
into the shape of your face.
I see you there now,
looking down at me,
with that cute little smile,
that I like to see.
You say "close your eyes"
"tell me what you see"
I see only two people,
just you and me.
We're walking the shoreline,
with our feet getting wet,
the horizon turns pink,
as the sun starts to set.
We make love through the night,
on that white sandy shore,
then I hold you while thinking,
I could want nothing more.
Oh I wish I could be
in that one special place,
as I lie on the ground,
and I stare into space...
- Randy Schutte -
You're my man, my mighty king,
And I'm the jewel in your crown,
You're the sun so hot and bright,
I'm your light-rays shining down,
You're the sky so vast and blue,
And I'm the white clouds in your chest,
I'm a river clean and pure,
Who in your ocean finds her rest,
You're the mountain huge and high,
I'm the valley green and wide,
You're the body firm and strong,
And I'm a rib bone on your side,
You're an eagle flying high,
I'm your feathers light and brown,
You're my man, my king of kings,
And I'm the jewel in your crown.
- Nima Akbari -
The love we have, sets my heart on fire.
Your love and caring, I do desire.
When I am with you, I feel no pain,
You shine with sunlight, on a day of rain.
I know our love, will always last.
I love you more, with each day past.
Without you here, I cannot be.
For you my love, are part of me.
- Terrance Washburn -
Heaven
When I look into your eyes
I see heaven
When I kiss your pouting lips
I taste heaven
When I hold your hand
I feel heaven
When I'm in your arms
I'm in heaven
Truly you are my heaven
- Michelle M. Ducheneaux -
Motionless
If time could stand still, I’d freeze it here,
So you’d always hold me, close and near.
In your arms, where I’m meant to be,
Filled with the perfect love you’ve given me.
A bond so strong, a hold so tight,
To know you’re the one; my ‘Mr Right’.
A blessing sent from up above,
In you I’ve found my one true love.
Our lives entwined to be as one,
Upon this journey we’ve just begun.
Where you and I will find no less,
Than eternal love and happiness.
- Kelley Saint -
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[13 Feb 2004|11:13pm] |
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I'm at Dave's show. In a bit it will be Valentine's Day. I'll be working in the morning, but hopefully I'll get to do something later to keep my mind off of missing Chad.
I got great news. I saved a lot of money by switching to Geico. Not only that, but I found out that I'm getting $1,200 back for my tax return! Yeah I needed that because my ass has been broke for awhile.
I'm gonna go smoke now.
VALENTINES DAY SUCKS!!!!
peace to you all
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[09 Feb 2004|08:50pm] |
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*EVERYONE! GIVE EvilCandyCane A COMMENT!*
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| i like chocolate |
[09 Feb 2004|08:17pm] |
today i did nothing. last night was fun tho. went and danced with leslie and pat. haha. then went to denys and smelled farts all night. brett is the farting man. a strange guy came to deny's and had the cops called on him cuz the people working at the time felt threatened or whatever. he was really weird. when he came in the first time he ordered something and left 30 seconds after he made his order. not even enough time for rick to give him his tea. then the guy kept driving back and forth like 10 times. he came in again later and had shaved and changed his look.
tomorrow i'm going to portland with pat. hopefully i'll get to see chad too. that would be nice to see him cuz he's going back home today. today i ate a small peice of cake. that's about it. now i think i'm going to shower. peace out. i love you like a fat kid love cake. ooh yummy.
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sherbonah's journal